he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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