Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
