Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
