I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need a beard to bite.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
