did you get engaged???
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
