Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
A+ Viking dick
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
