The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize