I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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