Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
