Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
