Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
