Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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