Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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