I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You're like the curious george of whores
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I would fuck him just for his dog
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
