No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
