I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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