So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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