Your tits are I can't wait for
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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