i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
