Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
