i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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