When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
