do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize