Buhtt sex?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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