i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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