i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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