Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
babies were throwing up all over the place
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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