lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And the cops told us we were all naked.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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