If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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