his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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