I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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