@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize