Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
