my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I smell like Dick and happiness
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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