The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im holly from the hills drunk
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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