drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
