a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize