Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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