worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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