she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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