Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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