Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
