I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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