he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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