if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
