I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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