I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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