bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Randomize
