the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
