Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
