So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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