Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize