Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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