Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
