he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
