Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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