The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
