Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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