I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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