...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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