just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he just fucked me for my cheese..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
