I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
