i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
