Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
