I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
