i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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