We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
