I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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