Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
