do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He kissed a someone with a penis
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
