We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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