I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
