i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
