the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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