he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize