According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
