just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize