we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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