I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
