lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize