WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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